THINGS THAT MATTER VS THINGS THAT DON'T

Today on Twitter some people got annoyed and started circulating this Dolce & Gabbana advert from 2007, which you may or may not remember was banned after some complained that it was disrespectful to women and "glamorised" gang rape. 

Now, you don't know that she is being gang raped.  She doesn't look frightened.  The male models don't look, to me, particularly menacing (although that might be due to the plastic expression that all D&G models are expected to adopt).  And you know, some women, so I have heard, actually enjoy sex.  Some women even enjoy sex with several partners at the same time.  Some women do enjoy having their hands held above their heads (note: her wrists aren't tied and the man isn't actually holding her in a particularly forceful way.).  The female model is even pushing her vagina towards male model.  So why was the immediate reaction to this picture, "GANG RAPE!"?  If anything, it looks like he's providing her with two tickets to the gun show and she's feigning disinterest. It's a deliberately sexual advert from a very sexualised brand, but, in my opinion, there is very little about it that insinuates gang rape.  

If it sounds like I'm rather exasperated by this, I am.  There are so many important things going on in the world, and yet the best the self proclaimed moral compasses of Twitter could come up with is this?  What does dredging up an old advert even achieve?

If you must be annoyed with something, be annoyed with Don Charney.  Be annoyed with the agencies and brands that let anorexic girls walk the runways.  Be annoyed with Rupert Murdoch.  Be annoyed with the tit and arse magazines at eye level in the newsagents.  And yes, get angry about children being groomed and trafficked, be furious that blind eyes are turned as young girls get abused.  But be cross about things that are actually current, because being annoyed by a misinterpreted advert from six years ago, which was dealt with at the time, is the sort of thing that gives feminists a bad name and makes people want to roll their eyes.  And if they're rolling their eyes, they're not listening to you.

FLOWERY PRINTS ON MY BIG ASS

Miss Selfridge leather look jacket, New Look jumper, Primark trousers and shoes, New Look and vintage rings.

BEEP BEEP

These are my first pair of patterned trousers since I was a child (aged eight, my favourite item of clothing was an excellent pair of heart and paisley print tie dye leggings.  Oh yes.) and I'm in love with them.  Patterns, as a general rule of thumb, are not something that I tend to decorate my lower half with, but these were so pretty that I threw caution to the wind.  Woah there, Caution, don't strain yourself.  I'm going to need you the next time I go shopping.

BOOKS AND IMAGINARY THIGH GAPS.

Vila Shirt, Cameo Rose Skirt, ASOS top, Primark belt, Topshop ring.

Yesterday I went to my favourite sexy hangout: the upstairs of my local Sally Army, home of a gizzillion cheap books.  Cheap books are kind of like free internet porn.  I would imagine.

Also, dem bookish types be bangin'.  No though.  I've never seen an attractive man there - mostly just trench coat types* - which is sort of disappointing, because you're supposed to run into hunky, wannabe novelists in the most run down book place in town, aren't you?  THIS IS WHAT FILMS HAVE LED ME TO BELIEVE.  I AM BEGINNING TO SUSPECT THAT I MAY HAVE BEEN LIED TO.  Or do they all hang out at Waterstones now?  WH Smith?  Or on Amazon??  How do you pick a man up on Amazon?  "Hey babe, nice review, your taste in books, films and mobile phone chargers is AMAZON, LOL, ROFL, fancy a cuppa sometime?".

Probably not.

Topshop shoes.

Disclaimer: my thighs are not that slim.  See that gap between them?  Not really there. They haven't been photo shopped either.  I'm just telling you in case you see the thunderous things in real life.  I'm as befuddled as you are. 

*WAIT.  Am I a trench coat type?  Oh fuck.  Oh no.

MY UNETHICAL KNICKERS

Primark blouse, skirt, belt and knickers (thankfully unseen). Accessorize necklace, charity shop bag.

(That first photo is open to interpretation: it could be me saying, "My arse is THIS big" or it could be me saying, "I am a MASSIVE twat".  Answers on a postcard.)

It wasn't until I sat down to write this that I realised I'm wearing almost entirely Primark. I suddenly felt unbelievably guilty.  Does wearing cheap clothing make me a bad person?  Am I supporting poor working conditions? Am I - are we, our commercially driven Western world - to blame for the factory collapse and subsequent fire in Bangladesh last week?

It's interesting, because there's not much that we, as consumers can actually do about it - save going naked (thinks about Gosling naked.).  These garment factories aren't exclusively used by "cheap" retailers, but by brands such as Mango and Benetton as well.  What we can do is sign petitions and become as aware about our shopping habits as possible, but in a world where those twenty quid disco pant rip offs worn obsessively by fashion devotees are classed a "bargain", and applauded by high street magazines and bloggers, are we capable of bringing morals into our wardrobes?  I don't know if we are.  

It does need to come from the top.  Buyers need to be more aware of their suppliers.  Everybody needs to be less selfish.  I don't want people to die just so that I can buy a £10 dress.  

I'd like to think that my compulsive charity shop shopping goes a little way to rebooting my humanity, but I'm not sure that's enough.  It's quite peculiar when you think that on the one hand, we're taking away from people's lives by practically inhaling these clothes and encouraging the awful greed that drives these types of cheap labour factories, but on the other hand, a lot of those same people who are buying from Primark are also ardent charity shop fans, their money going to help struggling people.  That is a huge part of the reason I enjoy spending my money in charity shops - charity.  Charity, and recycling.  But, as Joey from Friends once wisely said, "There is no such thing as a selfless good deed.".  The fact that I'm buying from charity makes me feel good, and then I feel bad for spending money and feeling good about it, and then I feel bad about feeling bad about spending money when that money is going to help people who have less everything than me.  See?  And then I feel guilty for being so self obsessed that I think it's about me.  Because it's not about me.  It's about all of us.  It's about humans and humanity.  We need to find our humanity, because it's definitely slipped down the back of the sofa at some point.

TWIGS AND STICKS AND LOGS AND TREE TRUNKS

Anyone else horrifically disappointed by their legs?  It's around that time of year when you can't actually ignore the blighters anymore, because as it gets warmer, shorts and skirts seek you out, like the little bastards they are.  I've turned to fake tan yet again, because they do help to cover a multitude of sins.  Or, in other words: make you think that your legs look marginally thinner (even though they probably don't.  They definitely don't, but never mind.).  Throw out your mirrors, girls, and embrace the tangerine times.

ASOS dress, Villa Shirt, Patrick Cox bag, New Look and vintage rings, New Look and Accessorize necklaces, Primark sunglasses.

PLANET EARTH PRESENTS YOU

Miss Selfridge spotted pinafore playsuit, Boden (via charity shop) shirt, vintage jewellery.

Oh little blog, I've neglected you, I'm so sorry!

I've been wrapped up in my writing recently, hence the lack of blog posts and the neglecting to visit other blogs over the last few weeks.  I keep going to post and then getting sidetracked until I feel like the post isn't relevant anymore, which is a shame because this is my little hobby, I really do enjoy it!    

I've had a little bit of a shake up within myself, which I'm blaming on the haircut (I had, like, five or six inches cut off in the end, let's not get too emotional) because I'm far too immature for a deeper explanation.  I've stopped doing Monday Mugshot because I came across another (more successful) blogger who's been doing a fairly regular post of the same name for a while, and I don't want it to seem like I'm copying anyone!  I want this blog to be it's own person, if you like. 

What else?  Oh, the 100 day shopping ban was a BUST, but I have toned my spending down considerably, so it's okay.  Well it's not okay, it's a massive fail and I should be deeply ashamed of myself, but you live and you learn!  I was thinking of maybe doing a video haul type thing, but I'm not sure.  Thoughts?  Do you prefer videos or written posts, or a mixture of both?  If I do one then you have to promise not to mock my man voice or my overly expressive face (*GURN*).

I have this bloody song stuck in my head and it's driving me mad:

HAIR SOS

Tomorrow I'm getting my hair cut.  Originally, I was planning on having nine inches chopped off, but then today my hair didn't look that terrible (it has a sixth sense.  It always knows when scissors are near.) and I began to question everything.  I like my hair when it's like this:

Or with a bit of emo side parting action, like this:

I also like being able to do this with it, as it makes me feel like I'm in a Pantene Pro V advert, or one of the Herbal Essence ads (note: orgasms not included, coincidental sadface):

But most of the time, my hair makes me feel like this:

That's me pretending to tear my hair out, in case it was too subtle for you.

Because it's a bitch to brush:

And so sometimes I just give up.

Plus if I don't shave my legs for a few days, I end up looking like a yeti.  True story.

I don't know whether to go for the whole to-the-shoulders hack, or if I should just have a few choppy layers put through, because I do love my hair, but it is a lot of effort for someone as low maintenance as me (read: lazy).  It's what I like to call a Nelly and Kelly Dilemma.

So I'm calling on you, bloggers of the world (/the two people who actually read my blog), what's a girl to do??